Today.
I'm not going to give a recap of the past three weeks or talk about all the adventures I went on, but let me just say that these past two months were hands down the funniest months I've had in Hong Kong for many reasons.
Now on to Today.
This morning I woke up and was hopeful that today would be different. I was anxious to feel Love and approval in my life again, and anxious to do something to honor and bring Him glory. Although these past two months have been great and fun, I have felt so defeated and as though I am being so selfish and doing nothing for His kingdom. I have felt so low and so useless, and no matter how hard I try, I keep feeling as though I am failing. I was asking why? I spend time in the word daily, I pray daily, I read books to further my faith, and I spend so much of my time, energy, and money into our students and people passing through Hong Kong, all in attempt to get approval by God, yet I felt so unfulfilled. Why?
Well today held the answer.
This morning at Church the second I began to sing and worship, I felt as though my sin and inability to please God were so heavy that the words from my lips could not reach his ears and that my sinful nature and heart was in the wrong place. I began to pray that the Lord would lift my burden, take mercy upon me, and speak to me today. I prayed that He would help me.
"For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do."
Galatians 5:17
"But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready, for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? For when one says, "I follow Paul," and another, "I follow Apollos," are you not being merely human?"
1Corinthians 3:1-4
These were the scriptures Nathan preached and taught on today. After worship we had a young man give his testimony of living in China for the past two years. He talked about how his arrival at first was for selfish reasons that he could not see. He desired to do the Lords work, for everyone to see him and give him credit for living radically for Christ. He was trying so hard to make God proud, to make God happy, yet found himself failing. He spoke of how he realized that the only way he can please God is through obedience. The only way to obey God is know his commands, and the only way to know His commands is to know His word, and ultimately the only way to understand His word, is to know Him. He said this "The Lord desires us to know him to KNOW Him. His ministry will carry on with or without us, but our goal in life should be to know Him." “Do I really know Him?”
I began to see how I was that young man. I had come to China to do the Lords work, but I wanted so badly for everyone to see. I wanted to make the Lord proud and do all these works for Him so that he will love me, and all this time I was so blind and missing out. I wanted to see the fruits of my work, and boast in my heart of all the time I had put into the ministry and show others how it was blossoming. This desire, although it was for ministry, was not a desire of the Spirit. I was trying to gratify the desires of my flesh. My flesh wants to prove how I have done well by all my good works that prove it. But God only requires one thing, that I know Him. I have been seeking the wrong thing all along. I should have been seeking Him more that my seeking to do His work.
The word that Nathan brought from 1Corinthians really opened my eyes. Not only have I not been seeking God but I have been trying to act as though I know Him and His word so well, when I don't. I have been trying to see myself as spiritual, when I am not yet spiritual. I am behaving only as natural man does. It is so hard to admit that. To say that I am not spiritual enough, that I do not know the Bible enough, and that I do not know the Lord enough, but it is so freeing to admit it and attempt to know Him more through His word before it's too late. I don't want to try and please God by doing so many things here in Hong Kong, but I want to know Him more. I want to know His word more and I want to become more like Him. I want the last six months I have in Hong Kong to be about Him, and not about me. He will take care of His ministry, here in Hong Kong and wherever He leads me next.
Today was a day for the record books. A day where I vow to seek Him, and His word first. I want to be new. I want to be more like Christ. And it all starts today.
Monica Amanda Zuniga.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Much needed update :)
Christmas, New Years and a trip to Mainland China is what we have to catch up on, so let’s go!
Christmas was HARD. But as I was crying on the phone talking to my family Christmas Eve, I reminded myself and we reminded each other that God has a bigger purpose and plan. Even more we reminded each other that God is bigger and more important than us. I love my family and the fact that they Trust in the same Mighty God as I. Christmas taught me the importance of my family and really revealed my love for them on a whole new level! More than that, God proved yet again His love for me! Ben, Nathan, Colette, and I went and had a traditional AMERICAN Christmas meal at the Hagan's home. It was a great day of fellowship, the best food ever, and most of all gave me the comfort I needed. Special thanks to the Hagan Clan. :)
Before Christmas Cindy Yin, from the church I attend, invited me, Ben, and Eva to go on a trip to Mainland China. So After Christmas on Monday morning the 29th, Ben, Eva, and I headed out to Binzhou, China. I was especially proud of myself considering that my bag weighed less than Bens! We met up with an amazing group from Tucson, Arizona in the Hong Kong Airport, and headed out. Binzhou was FREEZING, but it reminded me of winter time in Hereford, TX, which made it all worth it! Binzhou is NOTHING like Hong Kong. There is a lot of space, less people and it was a true community atmosphere. We walked practically everywhere we went, which was great, and the city had very little sky scraping buildings. I was able to see the starts for the first time in 5 months, that's how great this place was! The group from Arizona did several performances throughout the city by playing music and singing songs. We first played at a blind school in Binzhou. Along with our group performing, many students were on stage playing instruments, singing and dancing. I couldn’t help but cry as I watched the blind students on stage. It was humbling, but I gained such respect for the principle and the staff at the school who dedicated so much time to the students. We met up with a fellow American young man named Jon Patton. Jon works at the University in Binzhou teaching English and Aviation English. He has an obvious calling to the city and every Friday gets together with University students to study the Bible more. Due to his connection, we had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with the University Students. I immediately connected with a 21 year old girl named Xiao Na aka Sara. She is beautiful and is full of love and joy. The first questioned she asked me is if I was a Christian. :) She wasn’t a believer, but by the end of the week, the Lord had worked on her heart and she now believes. She changed her name to Sarah Grace after. I felt so honored to be a part of her life during those ten days and to witness her transformation. We met a lot of other students and spent time with them as well. Between spending time with Sarah and going from concert to concert, I found a mom in Beverly Spitler. She brought joy to my life every day, and I know the Lord brought her to me. Ben and I both feel so blessed to have met her, and can't wait to get back to the states and visit her in Charleston. I also met an amazing American Blonde by the name of Melissa Jackson. Throughout the trip, she encouraged me by the way she lives. She is so humble and has so much wisdom for her age. She also is a fun girl to sit down and chat about life with too. Before we knew it we were on the plane back to Hong Kong, reflecting on our travels.
Ben and I both plan to go back to Binzhou for spring break.
The New Year technically was two weeks ago, but not for China! We are gearing up for Chinese New Year, the year of the ox. I'm super excited to see the city during this time and celebrate with the people. Chinese New Year is the biggest celebration in China, and happens at different times every year according to the Lunar Calendar.
More updates soon, a new video, as well as a bit on fresh revelations! Much Love!!
Mon
Me and Beverly!
Melisa, Sarah Grace, and Me
Thomas, Me, Caroline, Cindy, and Ben
Christmas was HARD. But as I was crying on the phone talking to my family Christmas Eve, I reminded myself and we reminded each other that God has a bigger purpose and plan. Even more we reminded each other that God is bigger and more important than us. I love my family and the fact that they Trust in the same Mighty God as I. Christmas taught me the importance of my family and really revealed my love for them on a whole new level! More than that, God proved yet again His love for me! Ben, Nathan, Colette, and I went and had a traditional AMERICAN Christmas meal at the Hagan's home. It was a great day of fellowship, the best food ever, and most of all gave me the comfort I needed. Special thanks to the Hagan Clan. :)
Before Christmas Cindy Yin, from the church I attend, invited me, Ben, and Eva to go on a trip to Mainland China. So After Christmas on Monday morning the 29th, Ben, Eva, and I headed out to Binzhou, China. I was especially proud of myself considering that my bag weighed less than Bens! We met up with an amazing group from Tucson, Arizona in the Hong Kong Airport, and headed out. Binzhou was FREEZING, but it reminded me of winter time in Hereford, TX, which made it all worth it! Binzhou is NOTHING like Hong Kong. There is a lot of space, less people and it was a true community atmosphere. We walked practically everywhere we went, which was great, and the city had very little sky scraping buildings. I was able to see the starts for the first time in 5 months, that's how great this place was! The group from Arizona did several performances throughout the city by playing music and singing songs. We first played at a blind school in Binzhou. Along with our group performing, many students were on stage playing instruments, singing and dancing. I couldn’t help but cry as I watched the blind students on stage. It was humbling, but I gained such respect for the principle and the staff at the school who dedicated so much time to the students. We met up with a fellow American young man named Jon Patton. Jon works at the University in Binzhou teaching English and Aviation English. He has an obvious calling to the city and every Friday gets together with University students to study the Bible more. Due to his connection, we had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with the University Students. I immediately connected with a 21 year old girl named Xiao Na aka Sara. She is beautiful and is full of love and joy. The first questioned she asked me is if I was a Christian. :) She wasn’t a believer, but by the end of the week, the Lord had worked on her heart and she now believes. She changed her name to Sarah Grace after. I felt so honored to be a part of her life during those ten days and to witness her transformation. We met a lot of other students and spent time with them as well. Between spending time with Sarah and going from concert to concert, I found a mom in Beverly Spitler. She brought joy to my life every day, and I know the Lord brought her to me. Ben and I both feel so blessed to have met her, and can't wait to get back to the states and visit her in Charleston. I also met an amazing American Blonde by the name of Melissa Jackson. Throughout the trip, she encouraged me by the way she lives. She is so humble and has so much wisdom for her age. She also is a fun girl to sit down and chat about life with too. Before we knew it we were on the plane back to Hong Kong, reflecting on our travels.
Ben and I both plan to go back to Binzhou for spring break.
The New Year technically was two weeks ago, but not for China! We are gearing up for Chinese New Year, the year of the ox. I'm super excited to see the city during this time and celebrate with the people. Chinese New Year is the biggest celebration in China, and happens at different times every year according to the Lunar Calendar.
More updates soon, a new video, as well as a bit on fresh revelations! Much Love!!
Mon
Me and Beverly!
Melisa, Sarah Grace, and Me
Thomas, Me, Caroline, Cindy, and Ben
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